How much damage did Carrie Underwood do to that guy’s truck in that song?
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AN ESTIMATE
We travel a lot, rent a lot of cars, drive around in far flung corners of the USA, and correspondingly, hear a lot of country music.
One song we’ve heard quite a few times goes:
I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive,
Carved my name into his leather seats.
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
Slashed a hole in all four tires.
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.
It’s a Carrie Underwood song called “Before He Cheats” and is also featured in the movie Pitch Perfect 2.
Anyway, the last time we heard this song, we couldn’t help but think, “Darn, that’s a lot of damage she does to his truck. But how much?”
Then we thought, “Estimation is a vital skill in decision science. We should really estimate this.”
Then we thought, “blog post.”
Let’s break it down
Lyric: “I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive”
Corresponding repair: Fixed a “keyed” truck door
Estimate: $650
Lyric: “Carved my name into his leather seats”
Corresponding repair: Two front seats professionally reupholstered
Estimate: $750
Lyric: “I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights”
Corresponding repair: Replacing two headlight assemblies
Cost: $950
Lyric: “Slashed a hole in all four tires”
Corresponding repair: Replacing four truck tires
Cost: $800
What’s the total damage? $3,150.
Is that a big crime? Is is! It’s a felony offense with a potentially lengthy prison sentence in Carrie Underwood’s native Oklahoma.
So, when you hear that song, maybe imagine it’s being sung from prison.
(Yes, we’re assuming she got caught, but come on, she carved her name into the leather seats).
Maybe next time she’ll think before acting out her revenge fantasies. 🙂 Or maybe if this is in Texas it’s considered justifiable property damage.
But seriously, as decision scientists we should abhor this behavior. So socially inefficient! She should just steal the truck or sell it for cash.
July 24, 2015 @ 9:17 pm
Note that with her saying “maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats,” she sees herself as a commitment device. It would be more efficient to make a contract for a cash transfer of $3,150 upon the event of another transgression. Or they could just use Beeminder.
July 27, 2015 @ 8:53 am
I would have expected the reupholstering to cost more. In any event I appreciate the breakdown. I suspect there are more songs out there that could use such analysis.
July 27, 2015 @ 8:43 am
A small pile of aluminum and iron powder on the hood lit with a birthday candle would have done a better job. Aihtsat.
May 18, 2018 @ 11:45 am
Really I would not teach my daughter to do this. I would teach her to find a better man than him. To do something as dumb as Carrie Underwood is a hard lesson while you are sitting in state jail with a record. Also what guy in right mind would ever date a woman like this.
Carrie Underwood really dumb song to empower the young women of today. What a bone head move.
July 28, 2019 @ 10:18 pm
In Tennessee, where the video was filmed, that kind of damage is a Class D Felony, and could land carrie 2-12 years in jail, and up to $5,000 in Fines!
July 30, 2020 @ 1:02 pm
Honestly, he isn’t going to think about not cheating just because she did that. He is going to take safety precautions to not get caught. People (men and women) are going to cheat regardless, that doesn’t make it acceptable to ruin someone’s car. It doesn’t matter that she is famous and has the money to repair it if forced, it’s just wrong on so many levels.
January 3, 2021 @ 4:50 pm